Sometimes We Struggle Unnecessarily As We Move Through Our Child Custody Case

There are times in life when we all struggle and sometimes there is struggle as you move through your custody case.  In fact I found myself fretting for a few weeks about what to do in a recent case.  I spent a lot of time struggling to find a solution for my client and overlooked one easy solution because I didn’t think it was possible.  It turned out it was. 

Back in August and September the parties had engaged in a full mediation session with a mediator who was court appointed.  They both arrived at a full agreement and in Arizona these agreements, if signed by both parties are called Rule 69 agreements.

They are binding in the eyes of the court and it’s very difficult to get out of it.   A week or two after they had signed this full agreement my client decided that he really didn’t want the agreement.  I thought uh oh, it’s really going to be hard to get out of this agreement.  I started searching for a ground in which we could get out of the agreement.

Then my client changed his mind and said he did want to go through with the agreement but then he changed his mind again.  So now he is at the point where he doesn’t want the agreement and wants to go to trial.  I’ve been picking the brains of my fellow attorneys to try and find a way to get out of this agreement.  I will say that I think that the agreement was pretty good for my client.  Maybe he could have done a little better but a lot of times in mediation both parties compromise.  And so they end up with an agreement that they are not 100% happy with in favor of getting in settled and avoiding a trial.

We had some deadlines come up right around the holidays.  The court was saying you either need to submit this agreement typed up or you need to file a motion to set this case for trial.  I was not in a position to submit the agreement in writing because that is not what my client wanted to do.  So again I was stressed out doing research on how we could get out of this agreement.  I decided to just talk to the other attorney and tell him that my client did not want to go through with it.   And to my shock the other attorney said ok, let’s just cancel the agreement and set for trial.

So now we have an upcoming trial date and the client is getting what he wanted.  If I had been the attorney on the other side I would have done something very different.  I would not have just said ok, I would have insisted that both parties go through with the agreement.  But who knows what his client is telling him.  Perhaps she didn’t want to go through with the agreement either.

The point is I just presumed that there was going to be a big fight to get where my client wanted to be.  If I had just thought of asking the other attorney for XYZ we could have been off and running.  Don’t overlook the easy solution.  Just because something is easy doesn’t mean it can’t happen.  We are not meant to struggle all the time.  In fact, most of us bring the struggles onto ourselves.

If there is any situation in your life whether it is co-parenting  in your family law case or in your relationship with others, be open to the possibility that their might be an easier solution.